A very very apt blog post for my 100th.
Not only timing wise as I am about to go to Malaysia.
But also because I have realized something after reading it - I am following too many of the rules... I didnt used to - what happened to me?
So Chris Yeh - I am with you.
The Dim Sum Principle: Achieving success by breaking all the rules:
My family was out for dim sum this morning, when I realized that there's a lesson it can teach us.
Dim sum succeeds because it breaks all the rules of a restaurant.
1) Restaurants take reservations. Dim sum is first-come, first-served.
2) Restaurants make their money on dinners. Dim sum is only served for brunch.
3) Restaurants make their money on drinks.
Dim sum restaurants serve free tea, and no one drinks any alcohol.
4) Restaurants provide a menu with prices, and then you order. Dim sum has no menu unless you request it. The food comes to your table on carts, and you generally have no idea how much it costs.
5) Restaurant meals proceed in a fixed order, with salads and appetizers followed by an entree, finished with dessert. Dim sum carts come by independent of course; the first cart you see might be a dessert cart, and you can start with dessert without anyone blinking.
6) Restaurants provide a server who takes orders and brings you all your food. Dim sum restaurants send waves of ladies with carts past your table, and you might never see the same person twice.
The one thing that dim sum restaurants do that is conventional is to serve delicious food.
Your industry has a lot of rules, but there are probably only a few that matter. An airline has to get you to your destination quickly and safely. A bicycle needs to be human-powered, and faster than walking. Beyond that, it's up to your creativity.
Dim sum restaurants show that as long as you follow the few rules that matter, your startup can break all the rest. In fact, it might even set you apart and help drive your business.
Monday, 3 December 2012
Friday, 30 November 2012
Stop believing in luck by Shed Simove
This is all taken from his piece in business zone - and as I am a massive fan - I pop it here so I can read it when I am not working.
Right now I am working for Blippar - the mobile augmented reality specialists - which is interesting as they seem to keep on succeeding and succeeding... They / we won another award last night for the ground breaking work with Shortlist magazine.
But that's another story - and one for a client - not for me. So as Shed says he is a "firm believer that in business personal development should be compulsory for everyone. We should all learn how to be become fulfilled, decent members of society and ones that are easily capable of making our dreams come true.
Instead of learning techniques for success, most people grow up with snippets of information gleaned from common knowledge. The problem is that these snippets don’t often deliver the whole truth about the process of how to achieve any goal you might have, and sometimes make it seem like something to avoid.
Here’s one such snippet you’ll most certainly have heard, 'If at first you don't succeed try and try again'. This is wrong, if you keep trying and keep failing then you need to change strategy to have any chance of being successful.
Persistence alone however, is simply not enough. Instead, what you need to do is persist and evolve your approach to success. 'Never giving up' is fine (and necessary), but simply doing the same thing over again may well only deliver the same results. This is why you must frequently change your approach or – even better – try lots of different strategies at the same time. The more opportunities you work on simultaneously the greater chance you have that one will turn into a success – so always try and keep a broad focus.
The successful writer and playwright Samuel Beckett also had his own version of this idea. He said: 'Try Again. Fail again. Fail better'. In saying 'Fail better', Beckett neatly forces your brain to re-understand that failing is something necessary, beneficial and worth striving for. This is one of the single biggest lessons a businessperson must comprehend.
Here's a thought that comforts me when I encounter a setback or challenge (much better words than failure), 'A failure is simply something which tells you that you’re nearer to your goal.' If you fail at something you learn from it and don’t make the same mistake again. You have improved your knowledge and as such, are more likely to become successful in future.
Here's another big tip for success: banish the word 'luck' from your vocabulary. When it comes to success there is no such thing as luck. In fact, the truth of the matter is quite different – and should make you feel incredibly empowered. The fact is that nothing happens without you making it happen.
'Luck' is often used as an excuse by people who don't want to try to attain success or by people who want to give up. These people might say, ‘Other people are far luckier than me’ or ‘My luck has run out and so I can’t reach my goal’. Nonsense! These attitudes are very dangerous because they suggest that your life is controlled by external factors that are uncontrollable by you.
Well I'm here to tell you different: luck is a myth and you can control pretty much everything as a businessman.
Rather than waiting for luck to happen to us, we must realise that we alone are responsible for what happens in our life. The key is to take control and create situations that allow good things (or ‘lucky things’ as some people wrongly call them) to happen.
The concept of being lucky is a falsehood and here is a good example of putting yourself in a position to be lucky.
When I made some of my first gift products, a big firm in the US asked me to develop another item that went on to sell more than the original product I’d sold them. This happened when I released a novelty item called 'The Parent–Child Contract Pad' (a simple notepad that mimics a formal contract for adults and kids to fill in) and the buyers at the gift chain told me that they wanted another item to sit next to the pad on their shelves and have even broader appeal. I quickly suggested an idea to the fantastic partner company I was working with at the time, and we went on to release the ‘Sound Machine’ (a little plastic box that plays sixteen different sounds, from applause to explosions – and even burping). It went on to be a surprise hit around the world.
This may have been a fortunate outcome but, that example of success wasn’t down to luck, it was down to the fact that I’d created a product in the first place that gave me the chance to be lucky in the future. I’d bought a ticket and therefore had given myself the opportunity of winning the raffle."
All wise words - not surprising as Shed Simove is author of Success Or Your Money Back.
Right now I am working for Blippar - the mobile augmented reality specialists - which is interesting as they seem to keep on succeeding and succeeding... They / we won another award last night for the ground breaking work with Shortlist magazine.
But that's another story - and one for a client - not for me. So as Shed says he is a "firm believer that in business personal development should be compulsory for everyone. We should all learn how to be become fulfilled, decent members of society and ones that are easily capable of making our dreams come true.
Instead of learning techniques for success, most people grow up with snippets of information gleaned from common knowledge. The problem is that these snippets don’t often deliver the whole truth about the process of how to achieve any goal you might have, and sometimes make it seem like something to avoid.
Here’s one such snippet you’ll most certainly have heard, 'If at first you don't succeed try and try again'. This is wrong, if you keep trying and keep failing then you need to change strategy to have any chance of being successful.
Persistence alone however, is simply not enough. Instead, what you need to do is persist and evolve your approach to success. 'Never giving up' is fine (and necessary), but simply doing the same thing over again may well only deliver the same results. This is why you must frequently change your approach or – even better – try lots of different strategies at the same time. The more opportunities you work on simultaneously the greater chance you have that one will turn into a success – so always try and keep a broad focus.
The successful writer and playwright Samuel Beckett also had his own version of this idea. He said: 'Try Again. Fail again. Fail better'. In saying 'Fail better', Beckett neatly forces your brain to re-understand that failing is something necessary, beneficial and worth striving for. This is one of the single biggest lessons a businessperson must comprehend.
Here's a thought that comforts me when I encounter a setback or challenge (much better words than failure), 'A failure is simply something which tells you that you’re nearer to your goal.' If you fail at something you learn from it and don’t make the same mistake again. You have improved your knowledge and as such, are more likely to become successful in future.
Here's another big tip for success: banish the word 'luck' from your vocabulary. When it comes to success there is no such thing as luck. In fact, the truth of the matter is quite different – and should make you feel incredibly empowered. The fact is that nothing happens without you making it happen.
'Luck' is often used as an excuse by people who don't want to try to attain success or by people who want to give up. These people might say, ‘Other people are far luckier than me’ or ‘My luck has run out and so I can’t reach my goal’. Nonsense! These attitudes are very dangerous because they suggest that your life is controlled by external factors that are uncontrollable by you.
Well I'm here to tell you different: luck is a myth and you can control pretty much everything as a businessman.
Rather than waiting for luck to happen to us, we must realise that we alone are responsible for what happens in our life. The key is to take control and create situations that allow good things (or ‘lucky things’ as some people wrongly call them) to happen.
The concept of being lucky is a falsehood and here is a good example of putting yourself in a position to be lucky.
When I made some of my first gift products, a big firm in the US asked me to develop another item that went on to sell more than the original product I’d sold them. This happened when I released a novelty item called 'The Parent–Child Contract Pad' (a simple notepad that mimics a formal contract for adults and kids to fill in) and the buyers at the gift chain told me that they wanted another item to sit next to the pad on their shelves and have even broader appeal. I quickly suggested an idea to the fantastic partner company I was working with at the time, and we went on to release the ‘Sound Machine’ (a little plastic box that plays sixteen different sounds, from applause to explosions – and even burping). It went on to be a surprise hit around the world.
This may have been a fortunate outcome but, that example of success wasn’t down to luck, it was down to the fact that I’d created a product in the first place that gave me the chance to be lucky in the future. I’d bought a ticket and therefore had given myself the opportunity of winning the raffle."
All wise words - not surprising as Shed Simove is author of Success Or Your Money Back.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
More about Linkedin networking and marketing...
A couple of days ago I was training a company in Linkedin Marketing - I was amazed how many of them were on the platform but not really using it.
The training went well - they understood and went away with a host of tools to use and tips to maximise their time.
I then read this by Bernard Marr - ironically on Linkedin - on Linkedin - so I thought I would pop it here for next time.
As you see, the beauty of all these social media platforms is that you can measure most things very accurately. And therefore give an ROI to training very quickly.
Measuring your success on LinkedIn will help you make sure you get what you want and allows you to track your ROI on your investment in time etc.
There are some easy ‘input’ metrics you can track using your LinkedIn page. You can track things like:
‘Your Network Size’ or ‘Total Connections’ - You can quickly see your number of connections and network size on your home page by clicking the ‘connections’ tab. Growing your network will help you grow your influence and visibility in LinkedIn.
Level of new invitations – counting the amount of new invitations is a good way of tracking that your network is continuing to grow. If you get a good level of new invitation every week then you know that you are growing your influence and potential value from your LinkedIn activities. Again, you can use the LinkedIn system to give you this information by clicking on the ‘Your LinkedIn Statistics’ tab and clicking on the ‘new people’ hyperlink.
LinkedIn Profile Views – another statistic LinkedIn will provide you is the number of people who have accessed your LinkedIn profile in the last week. Keeping an eye on these stats will give you a good idea of your growing LinkedIn presence. If you have up-graded to the premium account you will not only get the number of views but even their names, job titles, and industry – which makes it even more powerful. Even though the above ‘input’ measures will give you some initial insights, their values are limited. Slightly more sophisticated are ‘engagement’ metrics that look at interactions and level of engagement. I suggest you look at measures such as:
Level of Interactions (e.g. likes and comments) on updates – a great way to build a presence of LinkedIn is to write regular up-dates and a test of whether these up-dates are relevant and useful to your community and network is to look at the number of likes you get and the number of comments your posts generate. A nice way to boost your interactions is to join relevant groups on LinkedIn and post questions and comments on discussion threads. Potential employers and business customer will look for influential people in their industry and the level of interactions is a good measure of such influence.
Endorsed skills – on LinkedIn you can list the skills you believe you have. What is powerful is that members of your network can now endorse or ‘confirm’ those skills. This is a powerful way of getting endorsements for your claims and recruiters are paying increasing attention to these endorsed skills. It is therefore a good idea to encourage and remind people in your network to endorse your skills.
Total number of recommendations – an even more powerful way of assessing your influence and level of endorsements from others is the number of recommendations you have.
Other LinkedIn members have the ability to write a recommendation about you. You can also use a function within LinkedIn to asked individuals in your network to recommend you. It is therefore a great idea to get into the routine of asking exiting and past employers, colleagues or customers to write recommendations. Only for the fact that potential future employers or customers will surely take note of any recommendations.
Which is great news as on my Linkedin Page I have lots of recommendations and more endorsements than many of the people I respect in the industry (which makes me wonder a little about the validity of them as a true measure of influence.)
Measures of engagement are more insightful than the simple input measures but even engagement measures should not be confused with ‘outcome’ measures. Outcome measures track the ultimate success of your LinkedIn activities and provide you with the definitive insights of your LinkedIn success. While it is great to grow your network and even better to engage with your contacts, the final goal is to either generate new and better job offers or to generate new business. Unless this is happening, your LinkedIn activities are still questionable. So here are your ultimate LinkedIn success indicators:
Total number of business leads – If you are on LinkedIn to generate new business then measuring the number (and quality) of leads generated is essential. Simply keep track on how may requests for business you have had and make sure you validate the requests by establishing the value of these request in terms of potential revenue or quality of leads. You don’t want to generate a great number of sub-quality leads or requests for ‘free’ advices. The number of real business leads is a great start but the number of quality and validated business leads is even better.
Number of job offers – if you are on LinkedIn to improve your career and attract new job offers than this is what you should be tracking: How many job offers have you received. However, similarly to the business leads, it is useful to qualify the job offers you are receiving – are they the stepping stone offers you are hoping for or are they sub-quality job offers for you to move sideways?
The above set of ‘input, engagement and outcome’ metrics are a great starting point to better understand the return on investment you are getting from your LinkedIn activities. However, there are other social media indicators such as online share of voice, social networking footprint, or influence measures such as the Klout Score or Peer Index.
Having talked about LinkedIn success measures – I would love for you to engage with me and follow me, maybe endorse my skills, or recommend me, or at least comment on this piece – what are your thoughts? Are there other indicators you use? Please let me know and grow your own influence by commenting and engaging…
The training went well - they understood and went away with a host of tools to use and tips to maximise their time.
I then read this by Bernard Marr - ironically on Linkedin - on Linkedin - so I thought I would pop it here for next time.
As you see, the beauty of all these social media platforms is that you can measure most things very accurately. And therefore give an ROI to training very quickly.
Measuring your success on LinkedIn will help you make sure you get what you want and allows you to track your ROI on your investment in time etc.
There are some easy ‘input’ metrics you can track using your LinkedIn page. You can track things like:
‘Your Network Size’ or ‘Total Connections’ - You can quickly see your number of connections and network size on your home page by clicking the ‘connections’ tab. Growing your network will help you grow your influence and visibility in LinkedIn.
Level of new invitations – counting the amount of new invitations is a good way of tracking that your network is continuing to grow. If you get a good level of new invitation every week then you know that you are growing your influence and potential value from your LinkedIn activities. Again, you can use the LinkedIn system to give you this information by clicking on the ‘Your LinkedIn Statistics’ tab and clicking on the ‘new people’ hyperlink.
LinkedIn Profile Views – another statistic LinkedIn will provide you is the number of people who have accessed your LinkedIn profile in the last week. Keeping an eye on these stats will give you a good idea of your growing LinkedIn presence. If you have up-graded to the premium account you will not only get the number of views but even their names, job titles, and industry – which makes it even more powerful. Even though the above ‘input’ measures will give you some initial insights, their values are limited. Slightly more sophisticated are ‘engagement’ metrics that look at interactions and level of engagement. I suggest you look at measures such as:
Level of Interactions (e.g. likes and comments) on updates – a great way to build a presence of LinkedIn is to write regular up-dates and a test of whether these up-dates are relevant and useful to your community and network is to look at the number of likes you get and the number of comments your posts generate. A nice way to boost your interactions is to join relevant groups on LinkedIn and post questions and comments on discussion threads. Potential employers and business customer will look for influential people in their industry and the level of interactions is a good measure of such influence.
Endorsed skills – on LinkedIn you can list the skills you believe you have. What is powerful is that members of your network can now endorse or ‘confirm’ those skills. This is a powerful way of getting endorsements for your claims and recruiters are paying increasing attention to these endorsed skills. It is therefore a good idea to encourage and remind people in your network to endorse your skills.
Total number of recommendations – an even more powerful way of assessing your influence and level of endorsements from others is the number of recommendations you have.
Other LinkedIn members have the ability to write a recommendation about you. You can also use a function within LinkedIn to asked individuals in your network to recommend you. It is therefore a great idea to get into the routine of asking exiting and past employers, colleagues or customers to write recommendations. Only for the fact that potential future employers or customers will surely take note of any recommendations.
Which is great news as on my Linkedin Page I have lots of recommendations and more endorsements than many of the people I respect in the industry (which makes me wonder a little about the validity of them as a true measure of influence.)
Measures of engagement are more insightful than the simple input measures but even engagement measures should not be confused with ‘outcome’ measures. Outcome measures track the ultimate success of your LinkedIn activities and provide you with the definitive insights of your LinkedIn success. While it is great to grow your network and even better to engage with your contacts, the final goal is to either generate new and better job offers or to generate new business. Unless this is happening, your LinkedIn activities are still questionable. So here are your ultimate LinkedIn success indicators:
Total number of business leads – If you are on LinkedIn to generate new business then measuring the number (and quality) of leads generated is essential. Simply keep track on how may requests for business you have had and make sure you validate the requests by establishing the value of these request in terms of potential revenue or quality of leads. You don’t want to generate a great number of sub-quality leads or requests for ‘free’ advices. The number of real business leads is a great start but the number of quality and validated business leads is even better.
Number of job offers – if you are on LinkedIn to improve your career and attract new job offers than this is what you should be tracking: How many job offers have you received. However, similarly to the business leads, it is useful to qualify the job offers you are receiving – are they the stepping stone offers you are hoping for or are they sub-quality job offers for you to move sideways?
The above set of ‘input, engagement and outcome’ metrics are a great starting point to better understand the return on investment you are getting from your LinkedIn activities. However, there are other social media indicators such as online share of voice, social networking footprint, or influence measures such as the Klout Score or Peer Index.
Having talked about LinkedIn success measures – I would love for you to engage with me and follow me, maybe endorse my skills, or recommend me, or at least comment on this piece – what are your thoughts? Are there other indicators you use? Please let me know and grow your own influence by commenting and engaging…
Friday, 16 November 2012
The 8 habits of extremely successful people ... worth thinking about...
Borrowed off Jeff Haden - great thinking from a great thinker.
Jeff is fortunate to know a number of remarkably successful people.
So here he describes how these people share a number of habits: These are the 8.
1. They don't create back-up plans.
Back-up plans can help you sleep easier at night. Back-up plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.
You'll work a lot harder and a lot longer if your primary plan simply has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment--without a safety net--will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.
If somehow the worst does happen (and the "worst" is never as bad as you think) trust that you will find a way to rebound. As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.
2. They do the work...
You can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort.
But you can't be great--at anything--unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort.
Scratch the surface of any person with rare skills and you'll find a person who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills.
There are no shortcuts. There are no overnight successes. Everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle but no one follows it... except remarkably successful people.
So start doing the work now. Time is wasting.
3. ...and they work a lot more.
Forget the Sheryl Sandberg "I leave every day at 5:30" stories. I'm sure she does. But she's not you.
Every extremely successful entrepreneur I know (personally) works more hours than the average person--a lot more. They have long lists of things they want to get done. So they have to put in lots of time.
Better yet, they want to put in lots of time.
If you don't embrace a workload others would consider crazy then your goal doesn't mean that much to you--or it's not particularly difficult to achieve. Either way you won't be remarkably successful.
4. They avoid the crowds.
Conventional wisdom yields conventional results. Joining the crowd--no matter how trendy the crowd or "hot" the opportunity--is a recipe for mediocrity.
Remarkably successful people habitually do what other people won't do. They go where others won't go because there's a lot less competition and a much greater chance for success.
5. They start at the end...
Average success is often based on setting average goals.
Decide what you really want: to be the best, the fastest, the cheapest, the biggest, whatever. Aim for the ultimate. Decide where you want to end up. That is your goal.
Then you can work backwards and lay out every step along the way.
Never start small where goals are concerned. You'll make better decisions--and find it much easier to work a lot harder--when your ultimate goal is ultimate success.
6. ... and they don't stop there.
Achieving a goal--no matter how huge--isn't the finish line for highly successful people. Achieving one huge goal just creates a launching pad for achieving another huge goal.
Maybe you want to create a $100 million business; once you do you can leverage your contacts and influence to create a charitable foundation for a cause you believe in. Then your business and humanitarian success can create a platform for speaking, writing, and thought leadership. Then...
The process of becoming remarkably successful in one field will give you the skills and network to be remarkably successful in many other fields.
Remarkably successful people don't try to win just one race. They expect and plan to win a number of subsequent races.
7. They sell.
I once asked a number of business owners and CEOs to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success. Each said the ability to sell.
Keep in mind selling isn't manipulating, pressuring, or cajoling. Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or position. Selling is convincing other people to work with you. Selling is overcoming objections and roadblocks.
Selling is the foundation of business and personal success: knowing how to negotiate, to deal with "no," to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, to build long-term relationships...
When you truly believe in your idea, or your company, or yourself then you don't need to have a huge ego or a huge personality. You don't need to "sell."
You just need to communicate.
8. They are never too proud.
To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others. To poke fun at themselves. To ask for help.
To fail.
And to try again.
So today - I am changing my goal - I am going to set up a business by which everyone can make money from their mobile phone.
This business will require no skill set and no equipment apart from a smartphone, a 3G connection and a wish or desire to sell.
The app (as it will be an app) will cost less than a week of benefit payments, so anyone could save up the money from scratch to buy into it. £49.99.
And the business plan will aim to make you double that a week for 12 weeks.
What it will be .... is for another blog :)
And my goal is to help 1300 people with this application by the end of 2013.
Jeff is fortunate to know a number of remarkably successful people.
So here he describes how these people share a number of habits: These are the 8.
1. They don't create back-up plans.
Back-up plans can help you sleep easier at night. Back-up plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.
You'll work a lot harder and a lot longer if your primary plan simply has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment--without a safety net--will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.
If somehow the worst does happen (and the "worst" is never as bad as you think) trust that you will find a way to rebound. As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.
2. They do the work...
You can be good with a little effort. You can be really good with a little more effort.
But you can't be great--at anything--unless you put in an incredible amount of focused effort.
Scratch the surface of any person with rare skills and you'll find a person who has put thousands of hours of effort into developing those skills.
There are no shortcuts. There are no overnight successes. Everyone has heard about the 10,000 hours principle but no one follows it... except remarkably successful people.
So start doing the work now. Time is wasting.
3. ...and they work a lot more.
Forget the Sheryl Sandberg "I leave every day at 5:30" stories. I'm sure she does. But she's not you.
Every extremely successful entrepreneur I know (personally) works more hours than the average person--a lot more. They have long lists of things they want to get done. So they have to put in lots of time.
Better yet, they want to put in lots of time.
If you don't embrace a workload others would consider crazy then your goal doesn't mean that much to you--or it's not particularly difficult to achieve. Either way you won't be remarkably successful.
4. They avoid the crowds.
Conventional wisdom yields conventional results. Joining the crowd--no matter how trendy the crowd or "hot" the opportunity--is a recipe for mediocrity.
Remarkably successful people habitually do what other people won't do. They go where others won't go because there's a lot less competition and a much greater chance for success.
5. They start at the end...
Average success is often based on setting average goals.
Decide what you really want: to be the best, the fastest, the cheapest, the biggest, whatever. Aim for the ultimate. Decide where you want to end up. That is your goal.
Then you can work backwards and lay out every step along the way.
Never start small where goals are concerned. You'll make better decisions--and find it much easier to work a lot harder--when your ultimate goal is ultimate success.
6. ... and they don't stop there.
Achieving a goal--no matter how huge--isn't the finish line for highly successful people. Achieving one huge goal just creates a launching pad for achieving another huge goal.
Maybe you want to create a $100 million business; once you do you can leverage your contacts and influence to create a charitable foundation for a cause you believe in. Then your business and humanitarian success can create a platform for speaking, writing, and thought leadership. Then...
The process of becoming remarkably successful in one field will give you the skills and network to be remarkably successful in many other fields.
Remarkably successful people don't try to win just one race. They expect and plan to win a number of subsequent races.
7. They sell.
I once asked a number of business owners and CEOs to name the one skill they felt contributed the most to their success. Each said the ability to sell.
Keep in mind selling isn't manipulating, pressuring, or cajoling. Selling is explaining the logic and benefits of a decision or position. Selling is convincing other people to work with you. Selling is overcoming objections and roadblocks.
Selling is the foundation of business and personal success: knowing how to negotiate, to deal with "no," to maintain confidence and self-esteem in the face of rejection, to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, to build long-term relationships...
When you truly believe in your idea, or your company, or yourself then you don't need to have a huge ego or a huge personality. You don't need to "sell."
You just need to communicate.
8. They are never too proud.
To admit they made a mistake. To say they are sorry. To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others. To poke fun at themselves. To ask for help.
To fail.
And to try again.
So today - I am changing my goal - I am going to set up a business by which everyone can make money from their mobile phone.
This business will require no skill set and no equipment apart from a smartphone, a 3G connection and a wish or desire to sell.
The app (as it will be an app) will cost less than a week of benefit payments, so anyone could save up the money from scratch to buy into it. £49.99.
And the business plan will aim to make you double that a week for 12 weeks.
What it will be .... is for another blog :)
And my goal is to help 1300 people with this application by the end of 2013.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Creativity: Is Creativity A Mental Illness? Is society mental?
A really good article and set of ideas - not from me - but popped down here for you - and as a place for me to come back to when not so busy being creative for clients.
And extra interesting as battling with my own ego at the moment after watching Revolver (again and quite by accident) - which has boogled my mind.
The reporter which this article is taken from - recently came across a link that was called – ‘creativity ‘closely entwined with mental illness’. This was from the bbc website about a recent study that has connected creativity with mental health problems. The link can be found here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19959565.
And after reading all that was said, I thought I would use my creativity to write an article about this. As I don’t believe that this is a discovery that is either new or groundbreaking; associating these two things together has been done for a very long time.
This also reminded me of a book by Alice Miller and the title gives away much of what the book is about - The Untouched Key: Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness. And the Publication Date for this book was 1990.
Society
One of the things that society likes to do is to label things. And in the area of the mind or mental health, this could relate to a certain type of behaviour or the mental tendencies that one might have.
I said the type of behaviour first, because this is typically how one comes to understand what is going on in another person’s mind. So this will then result to certain behaviour being classed as normal or abnormal, based on the criterion that has been set by the people in mental health and other such figures.
Normal Or Abnormal?
As time has gone by, it is clear to see, that what is classed as normal and what is classed as abnormal, is constantly changing. What was classed as normal many years ago could be classed as abnormal today. These descriptions are never static and are always changing - like life itself.
The ego mind functions through making judgements; this is how it hopes to ensure its own survival. It does not mean that these judgements are right or wrong or true or false, they are just how the ego mind works.
And due to the ego mind seeing everything in polarities, it will mean the judgements that are made, will be seen as the absolute truth.
Consequences
No matter what one is talking about in regards to making judgements, there will always be consequences that occur through this act. And when it comes to the area of mental health, there are potentially two sides.
On one side there is the obvious motivator to assist in making people’s lives better and to aid in the betterment of their wellbeing. And by becoming aware of a certain behaviour or mental position, they will be able to or at least try to provide the appropriate solutions.
And on the other side, there are consequences of not only becoming aware, but of also giving or attaching a label to something. This can end up creating more problems.
Associations
Here, ones ego mind will not only begin to identify with the new label that has been coined, it will also begin to take on board the emotional judgements that come with it. This could be feelings of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, anxiety and/or fear. So if one does feel that they have mental challenges, these can end up being magnified by these labels.
The Four Seasons
In nature there are the different seasons and this effects how the weather is and for some countries this will be more evident than others. Sometimes it’s hot and sometimes it cold, one can change where they live or they can stay and experience the different cycles.
When it comes to the mind, there are similarities. There are moments when it can be like the summer season and there are moments when it can be like the winter season and all that is in-between. And this will naturally vary from person to person. The childhood that one has had, ones physical health, the quality of one’s relationships and their financial situation; are a few examples that will play a part in ones mental wellbeing.
This means that there will be times that one feels good and times when they don’t. The natural ebb and flow of life is at work here. (Of course, if one is constantly feeling low and down, then this is a sign that assistance is the right option and must be sought)
Pleasure And Pain
To avoid pain and to seek pleasure is how the ego mind functions. And being human, means is that we will experience pain, it can’t be avoided. However, what we can change is our interpretation of what is causing the pain. It often seems that anything that is considered to be painful is described as a mental health problem in today’s world.
If one doesn’t feel completely happy all of the time, then there is a label or a term given to these people. And if one is happy a lot of the time, there is even a label for this also. Based on this perspective, it would be easy to say everyone has a mental health problem of some kind, simply because we are human.
The Human Experience
And part of what makes us human, is our ability to feel pain. We navigate our way through life by what our ego mind has associated as painful. The childhood years of a lot of people are extremely painful and for some the years later are equally as painful.
The loved ones in people’s life will pass or they will want to move on, which will bring pain. Rejection and disapproval are but two other ways, which can also create pain.
Creativity
So if pain is part of the human experience and we all need a way to deal with that pain, then what better way is there to process it than to be creative? This is a way to transmute the negative energy and that way, instead of using this energy in a destructive way, it can be used to create something positive.
Destructivity
Another way to describe all this is to say ‘destructivity ‘closely entwined with mental illness’. They are two sides of the same coin. And there are plenty of examples of both. And when it comes to processing the pain that we all have to one degree or another, what is the most constructive?
Conclusion
It can be easy to feel a certain amount stigma around normal parts of the human experience and this can be the result of different influences, from our friends to the experts. The most important thing is to be aware and to question all that is said; so that we can form our own ideas and views.
Pain motivates people to achieve and to develop themselves. The need to have or to achieve is often the result of feeling the absence within. The individual that is content rarely feels motivated to do or be more - A Buddhist monk is an example of this. So based on this perspective, does that mean that a society’s evolution and the human evolution, is the result of mental health problems?
---
An interesting idea - I would counter from my own experience with many of the women in my life have been the reason for my evolution - and I do believe society's too.
Without them us men would be living somewhere hot, wearing next to nothing, weight training and thinking about stuff... kinda like the Greeks ( a few 1000 years ago...)
And extra interesting as battling with my own ego at the moment after watching Revolver (again and quite by accident) - which has boogled my mind.
The reporter which this article is taken from - recently came across a link that was called – ‘creativity ‘closely entwined with mental illness’. This was from the bbc website about a recent study that has connected creativity with mental health problems. The link can be found here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19959565.
And after reading all that was said, I thought I would use my creativity to write an article about this. As I don’t believe that this is a discovery that is either new or groundbreaking; associating these two things together has been done for a very long time.
This also reminded me of a book by Alice Miller and the title gives away much of what the book is about - The Untouched Key: Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness. And the Publication Date for this book was 1990.
Society
One of the things that society likes to do is to label things. And in the area of the mind or mental health, this could relate to a certain type of behaviour or the mental tendencies that one might have.
I said the type of behaviour first, because this is typically how one comes to understand what is going on in another person’s mind. So this will then result to certain behaviour being classed as normal or abnormal, based on the criterion that has been set by the people in mental health and other such figures.
Normal Or Abnormal?
As time has gone by, it is clear to see, that what is classed as normal and what is classed as abnormal, is constantly changing. What was classed as normal many years ago could be classed as abnormal today. These descriptions are never static and are always changing - like life itself.
The ego mind functions through making judgements; this is how it hopes to ensure its own survival. It does not mean that these judgements are right or wrong or true or false, they are just how the ego mind works.
And due to the ego mind seeing everything in polarities, it will mean the judgements that are made, will be seen as the absolute truth.
Consequences
No matter what one is talking about in regards to making judgements, there will always be consequences that occur through this act. And when it comes to the area of mental health, there are potentially two sides.
On one side there is the obvious motivator to assist in making people’s lives better and to aid in the betterment of their wellbeing. And by becoming aware of a certain behaviour or mental position, they will be able to or at least try to provide the appropriate solutions.
And on the other side, there are consequences of not only becoming aware, but of also giving or attaching a label to something. This can end up creating more problems.
Associations
Here, ones ego mind will not only begin to identify with the new label that has been coined, it will also begin to take on board the emotional judgements that come with it. This could be feelings of guilt, shame, anger, frustration, anxiety and/or fear. So if one does feel that they have mental challenges, these can end up being magnified by these labels.
The Four Seasons
In nature there are the different seasons and this effects how the weather is and for some countries this will be more evident than others. Sometimes it’s hot and sometimes it cold, one can change where they live or they can stay and experience the different cycles.
When it comes to the mind, there are similarities. There are moments when it can be like the summer season and there are moments when it can be like the winter season and all that is in-between. And this will naturally vary from person to person. The childhood that one has had, ones physical health, the quality of one’s relationships and their financial situation; are a few examples that will play a part in ones mental wellbeing.
This means that there will be times that one feels good and times when they don’t. The natural ebb and flow of life is at work here. (Of course, if one is constantly feeling low and down, then this is a sign that assistance is the right option and must be sought)
Pleasure And Pain
To avoid pain and to seek pleasure is how the ego mind functions. And being human, means is that we will experience pain, it can’t be avoided. However, what we can change is our interpretation of what is causing the pain. It often seems that anything that is considered to be painful is described as a mental health problem in today’s world.
If one doesn’t feel completely happy all of the time, then there is a label or a term given to these people. And if one is happy a lot of the time, there is even a label for this also. Based on this perspective, it would be easy to say everyone has a mental health problem of some kind, simply because we are human.
The Human Experience
And part of what makes us human, is our ability to feel pain. We navigate our way through life by what our ego mind has associated as painful. The childhood years of a lot of people are extremely painful and for some the years later are equally as painful.
The loved ones in people’s life will pass or they will want to move on, which will bring pain. Rejection and disapproval are but two other ways, which can also create pain.
Creativity
So if pain is part of the human experience and we all need a way to deal with that pain, then what better way is there to process it than to be creative? This is a way to transmute the negative energy and that way, instead of using this energy in a destructive way, it can be used to create something positive.
Destructivity
Another way to describe all this is to say ‘destructivity ‘closely entwined with mental illness’. They are two sides of the same coin. And there are plenty of examples of both. And when it comes to processing the pain that we all have to one degree or another, what is the most constructive?
Conclusion
It can be easy to feel a certain amount stigma around normal parts of the human experience and this can be the result of different influences, from our friends to the experts. The most important thing is to be aware and to question all that is said; so that we can form our own ideas and views.
Pain motivates people to achieve and to develop themselves. The need to have or to achieve is often the result of feeling the absence within. The individual that is content rarely feels motivated to do or be more - A Buddhist monk is an example of this. So based on this perspective, does that mean that a society’s evolution and the human evolution, is the result of mental health problems?
---
An interesting idea - I would counter from my own experience with many of the women in my life have been the reason for my evolution - and I do believe society's too.
Without them us men would be living somewhere hot, wearing next to nothing, weight training and thinking about stuff... kinda like the Greeks ( a few 1000 years ago...)
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Perhaps positive thinking will only do so much....
As ever taken from a great article and popped here so I remember... as I ride my next wave of wonderful creativity, luck, serendipity and positivity - I will be wise to remember.... positive thinking will only do so much.
Lie back and picture life after your ambitions are fulfilled, the motivational gurus used to say, and you'll bring that end result closer to reality. Make an effort to visualize every detail – the finished screenplay sitting pretty on your desk, the gushing reviews in the paper, the sports car parked outside.
The gurus claimed these images would galvanize your determination. They said you could use the power of positive thinking to will success to happen. But then some important research came along that muddied the rosy picture.Gabriele Oettingen's psychology lab at New York University has showed that visualizing our aims as already achieved can backfire. The positive imagery can be inspiring at first but it also tricks the mind into relaxing, as if the hard work is done. This means the more compelling the mental scene of success, the more likely it is that your energy will seep away.
In the study, volunteers felt de-energized after visualizing success in an essay competition. In another, participants who fantasised about their goals for the coming week felt less energetic and achieved fewer of their goals.
Why Picturing Future Obstacles Actually Helps
A related problem with picturing what life will be like after we've achieved our goals is that it encourages us to gloss over the obstacles to success that are standing in our way. While the fantasy about our successful new fashion line or our future gym-fit physique might give us a frisson of excitement, it also distracts us from the practical steps we need to put in place to turn dream into reality. Of course you need to have an end goal in mind – purpose and direction are vital – but just as important is to think hard about the hurdles lying in wait.
Oettingen's team call this strategy "mental contrasting" – thinking about how wonderful it would be to achieve your goals, while paying due attention to where you're at now and all the distance and difficulties that lie in between.
Visualizing our aims as already achieved can backfire.
Two weeks after a group of mid-level managers at four hospitals in Germany were trained in this mental contrasting technique, research by Oettingen's group showed they'd achieved more of their short-term goals than their colleagues who'd missed out on the training, and they found it easier to make planning decisions. That's another benefit of mental contrasting: by thinking realistically about the obstacles to success, it helps us pick challenges that we're likely to win and avoid wasting time on projects that are going nowhere.
Now I know I have done this one more than a few times - but here is the proof to back up my life experiences.
Have a go – think of one of your ambitions, write down three benefits of succeeding, but then pause and consider the three main obstacles in your way, and write those down, too. Going through this routine will help ensure you direct your motivation and energy where it's needed most, and help you identify if this particular goal is a non-starter.
It's worth noting, however, that mental contrasting works best as a counter-point to high morale and expectations of success. When you're feeling confident, it ensures your positive energy is channelled strategically into the tasks and activities that are essential for progress. (If you're feeling low and struggling to get going on any project at all, then this is not the technique for you.)
Positive Feedback as a Multiplier for Progress
One scenario when we're likely to be flush with confidence and optimism is after receiving positive feedback. In a more recent study, Gabriele Oettingen and her colleagues tested the value of mental contrasting in a simulation of just such a situation.
By thinking realistically about the obstacles to success, it helps us pick challenges that we're likely to win and avoid wasting time.
Dozens of volunteers took part in what they thought was an investigation into creativity. Half the study participants were given false feedback on a test of their creative potential, with their results inflated to suggest that they'd excelled. In advance of the main challenge – a series of creative insight problems – some of the participants were then taught mental contrasting: writing about how good it would feel to smash the problems, and then writing about the likely obstacles to achieving that feat, such as daydreaming.
The best performers on the insight problems were those participants who'd received the positive feedback about their potential and who'd performed mental contrasting. They out-classed their peers who'd received inflated feedback but only indulged in positive thoughts, and they outperformed those participants who'd received negative feedback (regardless of whether they, too, performed mental contrasting).
So, the next time you receive some positive feedback, don't lose your focus. Indulge yourself a little – you're on track after all – but also take time to think about the obstacles that remain, and the practical steps you'll need to enact to overcome them. The mental contrasting technique guards against complacency, ensuring the boost of your early win is multiplied into long-term success.
I like it - and I am going to use it from tomorrow :)
Lie back and picture life after your ambitions are fulfilled, the motivational gurus used to say, and you'll bring that end result closer to reality. Make an effort to visualize every detail – the finished screenplay sitting pretty on your desk, the gushing reviews in the paper, the sports car parked outside.
The gurus claimed these images would galvanize your determination. They said you could use the power of positive thinking to will success to happen. But then some important research came along that muddied the rosy picture.Gabriele Oettingen's psychology lab at New York University has showed that visualizing our aims as already achieved can backfire. The positive imagery can be inspiring at first but it also tricks the mind into relaxing, as if the hard work is done. This means the more compelling the mental scene of success, the more likely it is that your energy will seep away.
In the study, volunteers felt de-energized after visualizing success in an essay competition. In another, participants who fantasised about their goals for the coming week felt less energetic and achieved fewer of their goals.
Why Picturing Future Obstacles Actually Helps
A related problem with picturing what life will be like after we've achieved our goals is that it encourages us to gloss over the obstacles to success that are standing in our way. While the fantasy about our successful new fashion line or our future gym-fit physique might give us a frisson of excitement, it also distracts us from the practical steps we need to put in place to turn dream into reality. Of course you need to have an end goal in mind – purpose and direction are vital – but just as important is to think hard about the hurdles lying in wait.
Oettingen's team call this strategy "mental contrasting" – thinking about how wonderful it would be to achieve your goals, while paying due attention to where you're at now and all the distance and difficulties that lie in between.
Visualizing our aims as already achieved can backfire.
Two weeks after a group of mid-level managers at four hospitals in Germany were trained in this mental contrasting technique, research by Oettingen's group showed they'd achieved more of their short-term goals than their colleagues who'd missed out on the training, and they found it easier to make planning decisions. That's another benefit of mental contrasting: by thinking realistically about the obstacles to success, it helps us pick challenges that we're likely to win and avoid wasting time on projects that are going nowhere.
Now I know I have done this one more than a few times - but here is the proof to back up my life experiences.
Have a go – think of one of your ambitions, write down three benefits of succeeding, but then pause and consider the three main obstacles in your way, and write those down, too. Going through this routine will help ensure you direct your motivation and energy where it's needed most, and help you identify if this particular goal is a non-starter.
It's worth noting, however, that mental contrasting works best as a counter-point to high morale and expectations of success. When you're feeling confident, it ensures your positive energy is channelled strategically into the tasks and activities that are essential for progress. (If you're feeling low and struggling to get going on any project at all, then this is not the technique for you.)
Positive Feedback as a Multiplier for Progress
One scenario when we're likely to be flush with confidence and optimism is after receiving positive feedback. In a more recent study, Gabriele Oettingen and her colleagues tested the value of mental contrasting in a simulation of just such a situation.
By thinking realistically about the obstacles to success, it helps us pick challenges that we're likely to win and avoid wasting time.
Dozens of volunteers took part in what they thought was an investigation into creativity. Half the study participants were given false feedback on a test of their creative potential, with their results inflated to suggest that they'd excelled. In advance of the main challenge – a series of creative insight problems – some of the participants were then taught mental contrasting: writing about how good it would feel to smash the problems, and then writing about the likely obstacles to achieving that feat, such as daydreaming.
The best performers on the insight problems were those participants who'd received the positive feedback about their potential and who'd performed mental contrasting. They out-classed their peers who'd received inflated feedback but only indulged in positive thoughts, and they outperformed those participants who'd received negative feedback (regardless of whether they, too, performed mental contrasting).
So, the next time you receive some positive feedback, don't lose your focus. Indulge yourself a little – you're on track after all – but also take time to think about the obstacles that remain, and the practical steps you'll need to enact to overcome them. The mental contrasting technique guards against complacency, ensuring the boost of your early win is multiplied into long-term success.
I like it - and I am going to use it from tomorrow :)
Thursday, 4 October 2012
I have just joined a new business. Blippar - the world's best mobile augmented reality company (in my eyes...)
I have just joined a new business. Blippar - the world's best mobile augmented reality company (in my eyes...)
Which is one of the reasons why I have joined them - the other was the culture of the place - so exciting and inclusive...
It's a great feeling to be part of an exciting family with a great vision to change the world. It has made me very happy.
So it was with happy interest I read the following this morning
"Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is often a matter of subtraction, not addition."
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.
Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
3. Clinging.
When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.
Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."
Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better.
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog.
Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else--including your employees.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
10. Fearing.
We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
These wise words came (not from me) but from Jeff Haden who learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden
Definately made me think - as perhaps I spend a little too long doing a couple of these bad things from above. It is my new goal to not :)
Which is one of the reasons why I have joined them - the other was the culture of the place - so exciting and inclusive...
It's a great feeling to be part of an exciting family with a great vision to change the world. It has made me very happy.
So it was with happy interest I read the following this morning
"Happiness--in your business life and your personal life--is often a matter of subtraction, not addition."
Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:
1. Blaming.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Vendors don't deliver on time.
So you blame them for your problems.
But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic, it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
2. Impressing.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.
Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.
Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
3. Clinging.
When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.
An absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.
Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.
Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
4. Interrupting.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."
Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.
5. Whining.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.
If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.
Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.
And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just be the shoulder they cry on.
Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better.
6. Controlling.
Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog.
Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself.
Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.
And all of you will be happier.
7. Criticizing.
Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.
That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.
That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.
Just like everyone else--including your employees.
Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.
8. Preaching.
Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know.
When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
9. Dwelling.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
10. Fearing.
We're all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we won't be able to do, or how other people might perceive us.
So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today.
If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.
Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.
Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.
Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
These wise words came (not from me) but from Jeff Haden who learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden
Definately made me think - as perhaps I spend a little too long doing a couple of these bad things from above. It is my new goal to not :)
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